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it's so hot out. i dug all the fucking violets out of the front garden. that took roughly two hours. the roots are fucking deep, man. then there are the big white flowers that are even harder to pull out. evey year they kill everything else that i plant. if you pull them up, they just come back. this time i dug out all the soil and replaced it. i hope that does the trick. my poor knees are red and raw looking. ouch. by the time i finished i had dirt everywhere, all up my arms, on my face. i don't know what the hell i did. how did my nose become covered in dirt? i'm lonely. there was this point a few years back when i would fall asleep every nigh thinking about how my life was always going to be like this- how every night i would go to bed alone, and lonely. these days i feel the same, only there is someone in bed next to me, which only makes it that much worse. i'd rather be lonely alone, than with other people. if i'm going to be miserable, i'd rather do it on my own terms. i'm giving myself until may until i move to australia. i still owe the co-op money. for far i've only paid off $600. i have so much shit i need to get rid of. i should have sold things at the garage sale. i had been meaning to, but life got in the way. johnny and i had some pathetic two day break up/reconcile thing at the worst possible time. I DON"T KNOW! fucking josef moved back in with his parents, and seems to be without internet access i wish it were cooler. i have so many things i want to get done, but this heat makes me tired and lazy. |
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