stephy:so, we all still want to go to ireland?
sara and i: yeah.
stephy: so, we are going to go this summer?
sara and i: yep.
stephy: want to go to greece? i'm going.

wtf?

stephy is going to greece for three weeks in may. we can get there really damn cheap if we go with her brother and his friend. it would be crazy not to go. but... i don't know what else they may want to do this summer. if they want to go anywhere else i won't be able to pull it off. three weeks will cost us about $3000. i can pull that off. just barely, but i'm sure i can. if sara and i want we can leave after two weeks, or stay somewhere less expensive, so then it would be even less. if they want to go anywhere else then i won't be able to do it. i wouldn't be able to make it to ireland this summer. at all. that was are plan all along, and i'm still partial to it. if i decide not to go to greece, and go to ireland later in the summer with them they could always decide they are not going to ireland, which i have a feeling will happen. that way i'm fucked for the whole damn summer. i seriously don't know what to do. it came out of nowhere and they want an answer by tonight. tonight! you don't say to someone, 'want to come to greece? you have two days to decide.' you just don't.

blah. i should have stayed with my mom this year. i am so fucked. i'm going to have to move back in with her after the summer if i go away. i'm going to have no money at all. i'll be scrambling for rent, selling off everything i own. i'm already making piles of books and cds to sell. my mother won't let me bring all the crap i have to her house. i'll have to sell off so much stuff.

i fucking hate life. you can never do something good without fucking up another part of your life.

still, greece for two weeks. i'll be there on my birthday. it would be nice. what is the weather like there in may? i have to keep in mind that i can't deal with heat. at all. i'll pass out... average in may is 20.6c that's not too bad at all.

i don't know. i really don't know.

~amy~