life is like a big, long game you are always loosing. the world hurts so much to be in. i keep trying to find the bright side, but it's only there when i am alone and watching the way the world spins- sunrises, or birds all flying over me in a huge sea of black flapping wings. when i take a step in- to the way they peck at each others eyes, i loose it again.

i don't really want to get to know anyone else. ever. it's not worth it. it's the most depressing thing in the world. getting to know someone is the biggest letdown there is.

i cried for the whole walk home today. i don't know when things are going to get better.