i am so sad. during the day i'm too busy to think about it much. it's kind of a low grade ache in my tummy. i can always feel it in there, but i don't pay it much attention.
then, when i try to go to bed, it feels like a wave crashing down on me. i can't get away from it, and i can't take my mind off of it.
it sounds stupid, but it hurts so much. all of me feels it. my legs, and my arms, and my head. they all feel worn down, and heavy with sadness. i don't know what to do. i just want it to go away.
last night i cried for hours, thinking maybe i could cry it out. i was hoping i'd tire myself out, but i just felt farther and farther away from sleep. finally i gave up, and cut until i couldn't feel a thing. then i slept like a baby.

amy.